Penton: Sports records made to be broken? Not so fast …
By Bruce Penton
Maybe a Major League Baseball player will slug five home runs in one game. Maybe a batter will drive in more than 10 runs in a single game. Maybe a pitcher will throw a perfect game and strike out 21 batters along the way.
Or maybe not.
Career or single-season records may or may not ultimately be broken, such as Barry Bonds’ 762 home runs, Joe DiMaggio’s 56-game hitting streak, Cy Young’s 519 pitching victories or Cal Ripken’s 2,632 consecutive games played, but a single-game record could happen at any time, considering there are 2,430 opportunities every season.
So what is the most unlikely single-game record to be snapped? It’s probably the four-homer game, which has happened 19 times, the most recent by Arizona’s Eugenio Suarez during an 8-7 loss to Atlanta Braves. The way team parity is taking a beating in the majors, it could conceivably happen that a slugger on a high-payroll team such as the Dodgers or Mets could tee off on a team of Triple A-calibre pitchers and belt five home run in one game.
A perfect game can hardly be topped, but how about a combination of the 25th perfect game in MLB history AND more than 20 strikeouts? The 20-K standard has been accomplished only five times in history, but never coinciding with a perfect game.
Sixteen times has a batter driven in 10 runs in one game. Shohei Ohtani of the Dodgers was the latest to accomplish that feat, in 2024, but 11 RBI in one game is certainly within reach, especially when viewed through the lens of some 2025 blowouts — a 24-2 win by Cincinnati over Baltimore; 15-3 Yankees over Orioles; 15-2 Rangers over Athletics.
Two homers by one batter, a three-run shot and a grand-slam, and a pair of two-run doubles, could theoretically drive in 11 runs, which has never been done before. How about two grand slams in a game? Not actually a regular occurrence, but it’s happened 13 times in MLB history. Weird facts: Fernando Tatis of San Diego hit his two grand slams in the same inning; Tony Cloninger of the Braves in 1966 is the only pitcher to accomplish the two-GS feat. Three grand-slams in the same game? Never say never.
Hitting for the cycle is rare, but not that rare; it has happened 350 times in history. Three hits in a single inning by the same player, however, has been done only five times. Johnny Damon of Boston did it most recently, in 2003, and it was the first time since 1953.
What record will fall next? Maybe one of these days, a Major Leaguer will bang out three hits in the first inning, go on to slug five home runs, three of them grand-slams, drive in 16 and become an instant Hall of Famer. It would even be more unlikely if a pitcher did all of the above, while pitching a perfect game and striking out 21.
That’s the day the world will end, with a meteorite slamming into Earth and destroying our planet.
RJ Currie of sportsdeke.com: “The Baltimore Orioles held their annual Bring Your Dog game recently. To no one’s surprise there were numerous pup flies, a few hound-rule doubles and even an inside-the-bark home run.”
Headline at fark.com: “The Royal and Ancient Golf Society warns players not to cheat on their handicaps. Trump immediately designates them as a terrorist organization.”
Steve Simmons of the Toronto Sun: “What do The Pope and Kyle Lowry have in common? Both graduated from Villanova.”
Comedy writer Brad Dickson of Omaha: “After he fell in the draft, one of the ESPN guys compared Shedeur Sanders to Tom Brady. Shadeur Sanders is to Tom Brady what astronaut Katie Perry is to Neil Armstrong.”
Super 70s Sports: “Back in my day, we watched the NFL with no first down line. Or scoreboard. Or clock. We barely even knew what was going on and we LIKED it.”
Janice Hough of leftcoastsportsbabe.com., quoting a friend about Pope Leo’s sports allegiances: "This stuff about 'Cubs fan or White Sox fan' is silly. He's the Pope. He's obviously a Cardinals and Saints fan."
Janice Hough again: “The Oklahoma City Thunder on Wednesday night looked like a team that might never lose again in this postseason. But otherwise all the insanity in predicting the NBA Champion looks about as easy as it was predicting a new Pope.”
From the Canadian parody website TheBeaverton.com: “In embarrassing snafu, starting lineup of St. Louis Cardinals included in Conclave to elect new pope.”
Headline at fark.com: “Sheddeur Sanders to start NFL career wearing No. 12 in honour of round in which he was drafted.”
omedy writer Torben Rolfsen of Vancouver: “Toronto Argonauts placed Shedeur Sanders on their negotiation list. It's fitting, because they both consider themselves the centre of the universe.”
Care to comment? Email brucepenton2003@yahoo.ca